All Skate

Today is a new day at brannongolden.com. Have you ever had one of those ideas that was so overwhelming, so huge, so magnanimous, so ginormous, that it was lapping at the very edges of that pan that’s underneath your brain that keeps it from spilling onto your garage floor if its drain gets clogged? (Or maybe that’s your hot water tank. I’m not good with analogies.) It’s like the boy who cried wolf when he flew too close to the sun and he saved a stitch in time. I presume you know what I mean.

That’s what the past two days have done to me.

It’s like learning that there’s ice cream. Then learning that there’s more than one flavor of ice cream. (In my case, specifically chocolate.) And then learning that there’s such a thing as Chocolate Chocolate Chip ice cream. And then Ben & Jerry’s New York Super Fudge Chunk® ice cream. And then Ben & Jerry’s New York Super Fudge Chunk Peace Pops, which basically contain all of the same deliciosity of that particular blend, only condensed and wrapped in a thick layer of chocolate, then jabbed with a stick to make it portable and therefore far easier to enjoy, only to be tantalized to learn that it is not available in the geographic region of the country where you live, only to learn later that it’s been canceled as a product, presumably only because the sheer awesomeness of its value to humankind has simply eclipsed all other products on the market to the point that all of the lobbyists in Washington, D.C., collaborated jointly to protest before Congress because no one would purchase their products as long as it existed. Sort of like that. But I digress…

I write…so you don’t have to. But so far I’ve just been writing whatever I feel like writing. Whatever strikes my fancy. Whatever mood strikes me. Whatever ideas and stories I already have in mind which contain “facts” which cannot (easily) be contested by the readers so that I can in fact say whatever I want and sometimes even make up parts and no one will be the wiser. But I have a different idea today, and I need your help and participation. Here’s how this will play out:

  1. I provide three (3) choices. They are deliberately vague—hopefully, teasingly intriguing.
  2. @reply to me on Twitter,
    OR
    Post on my wall on Facebook
    OR
    Simply reply to this post in the Comments below…
    With your vote for which topic you would like me to write for you.
  3. For this test run, you MUST select from the options I provide. No “made-up” submissions or alternative suggestions will be considered—at least not on this go-round. (Depending on how this experiment goes, I may open up other options.)
  4. You may invite your friends to submit suggestions and increase the chances of your topic being selected.
  5. Each person’s vote will count only once. Voting will close at 5:00 PM God’s time. (Most of you probably know this as Central Standard Time.) If you vote on more than one platform, and you vote for different selections, I reserve the right to choose which of your votes I shall count. Based strictly upon the popular vote—that is, whichever choice receives the highest number of votes—I will write that for you, and it will post on Monday.

Your choices are as follows:

  1. Aunt Fran’s Armadillo
  2. Midget Disillusion
  3. Make-Believe Girlfriends

If your choice doesn’t win first place, don’t lose heart. I promise I will tell all of these stories—perhaps even next week.

Let the chaos begin.

How are you doing today? Are you having a good hair day (so far)? Expressed as a percentage, how full would you say your car’s gas tank is at this very moment? What’s the best ice cream you’ve ever had?

17 Responses to “All Skate”

  1. Mark Morris October 1, 2010 at 8:30 am #

    Bold idea,Alex, I’ll take Make Believe Girlfriends for one hundred.

    • Brannon October 1, 2010 at 4:09 pm #

      That’s a cheap date. Ba-dum-CHA!

  2. John Blanchard October 1, 2010 at 9:19 am #

    I’m going to go with Make Believe Girlfriends as well.

    As for the other questions posed at the bottom, I am doing fine. Today is a good hair day (shaved head makes it easy). As a percentage, my gas tank is probably at 2% (no joke). The best ice cream ever is Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Fudge Brownie.

    • Brannon October 1, 2010 at 4:12 pm #

      Duly noted. Let’s talk some together about “fine.” Fine can often be a smoke screen to mean “not fine.” This is a safe place, John. You can talk openly here. No one will judge you with cruel sarcasm. (sinister grin)

      Unrelated, I’m convinced B&J’s Chocolate Fudge Brownie contains just a smidge of…crack cocaine!

  3. mary October 1, 2010 at 3:01 pm #

    I really, really want to read about Aunt Fran’s armadillo.

    I doing okay today, having a good hair day cause I got it cut and styled last night, the gas tank is about 41% full and my favorite ice cream is Ben & Jerry’s chunky monkey.

    • Brannon October 1, 2010 at 4:14 pm #

      That’s a great story. I promise I will tell it. But if somebody doesn’t do something drastic here in the next 48 minutes, you’ll have to wait. Sorry. :(

      Chunky Monkey is Kendra’s favorite, too! (Sadly for me, it is not Chubby Hubby. Cooler if it was.)

  4. Cissa October 1, 2010 at 3:34 pm #

    I’m having a glorious day! My hair is beautiful as it always is every other third day. My gas tank is 1/2 full, though to read about empty gas tank adventures you can check my facebook post from yesterday. I am lactose intolerant. I would like to hear about Aunt Fran’s armadillo. Have a great day!

    • Brannon October 1, 2010 at 4:16 pm #

      Hurray about everything! …except of course the lactose intolerance. Boo. Whatever is the opposite of lactose intolerant, that’s what I am. I am lactose welcoming. I am philactose. I am vegetable intolerant.

  5. Kat Soup October 1, 2010 at 3:37 pm #

    MIDGETS!! Seriously? Does it get any better?

    I’m having a FANTASTIC hair day, the low humidity helps. Thanks for asking. I should totally be out in public right now I look so good.

    My favorite ice cream is Ben&Jerry’s Half-Baked. OMS!! YUM!

    • Brannon October 1, 2010 at 4:32 pm #

      I know! I thought that was a sure frontrunner. You might call Jill and tell her to weigh in if it’s important to you. That one even has a picture.

      And congratulations on the hair! That’s outstanding. Except of course that reminds me of the risk posed by all your outstanding warrants. So maybe the being out in public thing requires some more serious consideration.

      Doesn’t Half-Baked change? My understanding was that Half-Baked was half of whatever they had been processing on the line, followed by half of what the next thing was coming down the line, so they could transition between manufacturing flavors without being wasteful. But I also drink a lot. So maybe I made that up.

  6. Cari October 1, 2010 at 4:47 pm #

    Oh, Midgets, definitely. Hands down. or Midgets with their hands down. What does that mean anyway…”hands down”?

    Best ice cream ever is Dreyer’s Swiss Orange, also NOT sold in my geographic region of the country…much to my dismay. What is wrong with our state?

    • Brannon October 1, 2010 at 5:21 pm #

      Midgets it is. (Not just because of you, but certainly you contributed.)

      Swiss Orange, you say? Curiouser and curiouser. Hm.

  7. Brannon October 1, 2010 at 5:10 pm #

    THE POLLS ARE CLOSED
    Midgets edged out Girlfriends, just before the closing bell. On Monday morning, you shall have “Midget Disillusion.” Thanks to all who participated! :)

  8. Arly October 1, 2010 at 9:49 pm #

    LOVE IT! You rock. There are so many people wondering, “Who is this guy? I thought I put brannongolden.com?”

    • Brannon October 2, 2010 at 7:00 am #

      Yeah… I’m gonna say, like, maybe 5. Or 2.

  9. Laura Stanlake October 3, 2010 at 3:00 pm #

    I hate being late to a party and needed to talk about both my hair and ice cream.

    • Brannon October 3, 2010 at 4:24 pm #

      Oh, you can ABSOLUTELY share about hair and ice cream. You just can’t vote on a topic. :)

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