Haircut Prognosticator

Rarely do I catch myself looking in the mirror to ask, Hey, I wonder if I need a haircut? That’s too hard. I follow a simple flowchart instead. (Most people who know me well would not be at all surprised. Equally unsurprised would be any person who actually sees my hair on any given day.)

Frequently, friends may ask me, “Hey, did you get a haircut?” or they may say, “Hey, are you letting your hair grow out?” Never are these questions followed by the simple phrase, “I like it!”

My wife taught me that this is polite code for, “I am acknowledging that I have noticed something different about your appearance; however, I do not like it. And since common courtesy precludes me from being honest with you, let’s just leave it at that.”

Or maybe I should just trim my bangs with fingernail scissors? Oh no, wait... that's Kendra.

Haircut Prognosticator Flowchart

What did I miss? What factors do you consider in whether you get a haircut?

7 Responses to “Haircut Prognosticator”

  1. Brian Russell August 16, 2010 at 6:01 pm #

    Awesomeness. Looking forward to what’s to come. You need to get an email subscribe option up so we can have your craziness sent to our inboxes.

  2. Natalie Witcher August 16, 2010 at 9:37 pm #

    Oh my word, that flowchart is AWESOME! I don’t use them at all, but if I had one that would be great. However, mine would simply revolve around frizz and hormones. Once those two are out of whack, I better get a haircut.

  3. Donald Ohse August 16, 2010 at 10:22 pm #

    Love it! That is me!!

  4. @sheriy August 16, 2010 at 11:06 pm #

    That is completely awesome and up my consultant flowchart queen alley! AWESOME!

  5. Rodney August 17, 2010 at 3:45 pm #

    If I have to comb my hair; I will then start processing when I will get a haircut. My wife usually informs me before I notice it though. Like yourself, I don’t use the mirror that often. Only for boogers or food between my teeth.

  6. Brannon August 23, 2010 at 1:35 pm #

    A good friend provided me with a woman’s version of this flowchart. Once I’ve made it pink enough to suit me, I’ll post it. :)

  7. Kathleen Soukup August 25, 2010 at 8:02 pm #

    I almost wet my pants reading the flowchart the other day. Brilliant!

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